The Christmas story is familiar to most of us, yet we often read it as a beautiful, almost sentimental tale of angels, a manger, and a baby. In reality, the first Christmas unfolded amid public scandal, heartbreaking betrayal (or so it appeared), and a shame that threatened to destroy two families for generations. Matthew slows the camera down and lets us watch one man, Joseph, wrestle with a situation that made no human sense. Through his response we learn how to follow God when life is falling apart.
God’s Will Often Arrives Wrapped in Confusion (vv. 18-19)
“Now the birth of Jesus Christ was on this wise: When as his mother Mary was espoused to Joseph, before they came together, she was found with child of the Holy Ghost. Then Joseph her husband, being a just man, and not willing to make her a publick example, was minded to put her away privily.”
In first-century Jewish culture, betrothal was a legally binding marriage; only divorce could end it. Mary’s visible pregnancy was not a private embarrassment; it was a communal earthquake. Family honour, dowry money, future business, and generational reputation all hung in the balance. Under Jewish, Greek, and Roman law alike, Joseph was expected (even required) to divorce an unfaithful fiancée. To keep her would brand him either a fool or a coward in the eyes of the entire town.
Yet Joseph, described as “a just man,” chose the quieter, far costlier path: a private divorce with two witnesses. He would forfeit the dowry, absorb the shame himself, and still spare Mary public humiliation. Even before any angel appeared, Joseph chose mercy over vengeance and personal honour.
God’s greatest purposes often break into our lives at the worst possible moment, wrapped in layer upon layer of confusion and pain.
God Reveals His Will to Those Who Choose Integrity (vv. 20-21)
“But while he thought on these things, behold, the angel of the Lord appeared unto him in a dream, saying, Joseph, thou son of David, fear not to take unto thee Mary thy wife: for that which is conceived in her is of the Holy Ghost. And she shall bring forth a son, and thou shalt call his name JESUS: for he shall save his people from their sins.”
Notice the timing: “while he thought on these things.” Joseph had not rushed to anger or public exposure. He was still wrestling, still seeking a way to be both righteous and merciful. Because his heart was already bent toward integrity, heaven could break through with unmistakable clarity.
Jesus taught the same principle in John 7:17: “If any man will do his will, he shall know of the doctrine.” Willingness comes first; revelation follows. God speaks most clearly to those who have already decided they will obey, even before they know what obedience will demand.
Obedience Often Costs Your Reputation (vv. 22-25)
By taking Mary as his wife and naming the child Jesus, Joseph publicly claimed a son who was not biologically his. From that day forward, neighbours whispered. Workmates smirked. Everyone assumed either Mary had been unfaithful or Joseph lacked the courage to divorce her. He surrendered the right to appear righteous before men so that he could be righteous before God.
True obedience is never cheap. It cost Joseph lifelong suspicion. Centuries later it cost Charles Spurgeon friends and reputation when he stood against doctrinal compromise in the Downgrade Controversy. He wrote, “I am quite willing to be eaten by dogs for the next fifty years, but the truth will win.” When we choose God’s approval over human approval, we walk the same road Joseph walked.
Obedience Creates Space for God to Do the Impossible (v. 25)
“And knew her not till she had brought forth her firstborn son: and he called his name JESUS.”
Joseph’s obedience went even further. After bringing Mary home he continued to abstain from marital relations until after the birth, ensuring that no one could ever claim the child was biologically his. One more sacrifice to protect the miracle of the virgin birth.
A carpenter’s quiet, costly faithfulness became the hinge on which swung the salvation of the world. He did not preach a sermon or lead an army; he simply obeyed when everything in his culture screamed the opposite. Through that obedience Emmanuel, God with us, stepped into history.
Joseph’s story strips away the tinsel. The first Christmas required a young woman who accepted lifelong misunderstanding and a young man who surrendered reputation, money, and rights. Both said yes to God when nothing made sense.
If you are walking through a season of confusion and costly obedience today, take heart from Joseph. Keep choosing mercy. Keep walking in integrity. Keep trusting the word of the Lord more than the voices of the crowd. When we obey in the dark, we make room for the Light of the World to be born again in us and, through us, in the lives of others.
May this Christmas find us gripped less by sentiment and more by awe at a carpenter who trusted God when life made no sense. His obedience changed eternity. Ours, by God’s grace, can still change the corner of the world He has given us.
